Negotiation Tactics to Get More

Alex Carter is a Director of the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School, where she is also an award-winning professor, and a world-renowned negotiation trainer for the United Nations. She speaks and appears on TV and in the media regularly. She’ll help you understand what you want, how to ask for it, and — most importantly — how to get it

Regardless of the context, many people associate negotiation with fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of appearing too needy or demanding. They’re concerned that if they speak up for what they want, they won’t get it, or worse, they’ll be judged for even asking.

When we see something that way it’s limiting and reactive, we end up thinking that negotiation is a thing we do once a year during salary decisions or it’s something we do when we’re about to sign up a new client. But negotiation is so much more than that.

“I teach that negotiation is steering. It’s any conversation in which you are steering a relationship in a desired direction. That means you don’t wait for the money conversation to teach someone how to value you. You should be thinking about steering that relationship in every conversation you have.

“I want women in particular to know that asking for more is a community service. It means that you have normalized that process for the next woman coming after you.”

There’s a formula that can really help you, called the I/we ask. It goes like this: Here’s what I’m requesting, and here’s how we all benefit.

When you’ve spent time really stepping into the shoes of your manager, your CEO, your organization, and figuring out what they most need, you then are in a position to pitch your ask in a way that meets that need. The I/we is an extremely powerful tool. It’s just as powerful as it is collaborative. And it’s an approach that works exceptionally well for women and not just pre-pandemic, but even amid this crisis and uncertainty.